Whatever time of year it is, there are always holidays. As a single parent who has gone through divorce, it is probably difficult to know exactly where your child will be on each holiday. While you may have a general idea of who has your child at a certain time of year, you may not know exactly where events happen or who will be present.
If this is a problem, it is something that you can address directly with your ex-spouse as well as in court if a situation calls for the intervention of a judge. Here are a few tips for being safer when plans aren't certain.
1. Keep good lines of communication
The first thing you need to do is to keep good lines of communication between yourself, your ex-spouse and your children. Both of you should agree that your children can call either one of you at any time. It is important that their safety and security is put first. You should also communicate with each other about what kinds of events are coming up during the holidays in advance, so you don't find out at the last minute and have a problem with what's happening.
2. Make your preferences known
If you would prefer that certain people are not in your children's life, it is important that you and your ex-spouse discuss this and have an agreement to keep those individuals out of their lives.
For example, if there is a family member who abuses alcohol, you may prefer that your children are not around them during visits with other family members. While it's probably not always going to be easy to avoid them completely, understanding the concern is the main issue. You should both be willing to take each other's concerns seriously to protect your children.
3. Don't use your kids as messengers
Finally, you'll have fewer arguments if you don't use your children as messengers. Kids often make mistakes and embellish the truth, so you'll want to talk with your ex-spouse directly to discuss plans for school vacations or holidays.
By following these tips, you can stay more informed about what your children do with your ex-spouse. You both deserve the chance to know exactly what your children go through when they are not with you, and you should be open with each other about your plans and the experiences your children have.